Summerslam Predictions

Ahh, my non-informed opinions. (In Order from Beginning to End of Show .. I think) ..

• Kane vs. Finley - This is really just a time killer match (you can tell) so I really don't know who is gonna win on this one. I do know we'll see a Hornswoggle/Noble run in which could make this match anyone's ball game. Plus, this is probably filling in for the Matt Hardy vs. MVP match that won't happen because of MVP's heart condition. PROBABLE WINNER: No effin' clue.
• Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero - It has to be Rey-Rey, you don't come back to a loss unless you're a jobber. I mean yeah, Chavo has been going crazy but still, he'll put up a good fight but Rey-Rey will come out on top. Speaking of which, Rey Rey was on Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld on Friday. PROBABLE WINNER: Rey Rey
• Diva's Battle Royal - Once again, anyone's ball game. I have no clue. It will come down to at least one chick from Raw and one chick from Smackdown. There isn't a enough time on ECW to have a women's champion. I think we'll also see some guy involvement too (think Miz, Dykstra, Mahoney, Wang Yang). It'll come down to either Beth Phoenix or Melina vs. McCool or Victoria. PROBABLE WINNER: Phoenix, Melina, McCool, or Victoria
• Triple H vs. King Booker - Triple H is the King of Kings. And this is one of those "you don't lose on your return match when you're a headliner" type of deals. PROBABLE WINNER: Triple H
• Umaga (or Umanga as Regal so eloquently states) vs. Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Kennedy vs. Carlito (nothing special?) - Damn. Really hard one. Ummm, let's see. I think Uma(n)ga is gonna keep it because this is basically gonna come down to Kennedy & Carlito beating the snot out of one another for 5 minutes while Uma(n)ga waits in the shadows and strikes (like he did on Monday). There is also a sly chance that Kennedy could win since they've been trying to push him. PROBABLE WINNER: Uma(n)ga or Kennedy
• John Morrison vs. CM Punk - "You're time is up, my time is now." PROBABLE WINNER: CM Punk
• The Great Khali vs. Batista - Batista, after that display on Friday and the fact he can counter the claw now and knowing that once you take Khali off his vertical base he's worthless. Batista allllllll the way. PROBABLE WINNER: Batista
• John Cena vs. Randy Orton - I'm leaning toward Randy Orton. John's almost at a year and it seriously just needs to change hands. Fans are getting pissed off and I think WWE is beginning to sense that. Plus, the word on the street is that HHH is supposed to feud with Orton over the title, which would be something to see. PROBABLE WINNR: Orton

Alright, I'm done. I'll get back tomorrow to see if I was right. There is also word (thanks to everyone's favorite Boston Rock Radio station WAAF) that there is going to be a dark match main event rematch tomorrow prior to Raw between Cena and Orton. No word on who will win the match however.

So it has been written, so it shall come to pass.
Quoth Mander,
Nevermore.